Humor

Girl to her boyfriend:

One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies:

Thanks for the warning.
 

A husband was asked: 

Do you talk to your wife after sex?

He replied:

Depends, if I can find a phone.

Man to wife on wedding night:

Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with? 

Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!

Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S.?

Because people started licking the wrong side.

A wife asked her husband:

What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?

He looked at her from head to toe and replied:

I like your sense of humour.

AND THE WINNER IS:

Doctor to his lady patient:

You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals three times a day as I advised?

Lady to doctor:

Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.